Chicago, USA.

It's almost time for the Olympics.

A complete license to print money.

Slap the five-circles on it, it'll sell like hotcakes.

As if people believe that if they consume product-X, they'll be able to luge.

There are perhaps twenty people in America who know how to luge. They love the Olympics because once in every four years they actually get the chance to hang out.

I keep waiting for cross-over events.

I want to see the biathletes shoot the curlers. They are easy targets.

They say that the Olympics are not about politics. But then again, all the International Olympic Committee members are mostly political appointments.... and the athletes wear their national colors.... and they play for national pride.

Here in America, other countries do not exist.

We accuse the other athletes of taking American-made suppliments and performance-improving substances even though all of our athletes are sponsorted by beer, tobacco and pharmaceutical companies.

We hype up the events we always win and ignore the ones we always lose.

We drink grain alcohol out of our commemerative gas-station Olympic cups as we try to figure out whether the winner of the Superbowl will get a medal or not.