Dallas, USA

There's this steakhouse.

If you walk in wearing a tie, they'll cut it off.

It's their thing. Their reason d'etre.

Vegetarians don't last long here. They have to account for the cognitive dissonance that occurs when they're forced to realize that every 'vegetable' in this state was once a part of a living breathing cow. It must be difficult.

Meanwhile, I was somewhere between the railyard and the stockyard when I remembered that I had not eaten anything green in a week.

"Scurvy isn't a disease, it's a reaction" he says to himself.

The waitress just stands there, twirling her hair.

Toronto, Canada

Every once in a while you need to treat yourself.

A little something to make the bad man go away.

So, I bought myself a brand new camera.

Here's the kicker though.... this is a camera that has the most interesting built in feature. You press a button, and it quite literally makes you smile. I have no idea how they do it. Fucking face recognition and robots and fancypants mumbo jumbo ridiculous awesome. It's amazing.

You can't make this shit up.

A machine that makes you smile. I cannot tell you how fitting this is. So right for the moment. Sometimes the Lord works in mysterious ways... other times, it's just excellent engineering and available in a glass case in Chinatown.

So I'm hanging out in my completely empty house... making frowns that turn upside down.

Everything changes. Hello. Good Morning.

Suddenly it's a beautiful day.

Just had to press the right button.