Palmetto, USA.

A white minivan pulls up.

"Where you going?"

I give the gentleman the address.

"I not going there." says the driver.

"Excuse me?"

"That is south. South is jungle. Go north instead."

I'm at a loss for words. Generally, airport cab drivers are more than willing to entertain the idea of a large fare from an evening arrival. Generally, they're more than happy to take you to anywhere on the map.

"Go north. North is nicer. I take you downtown, ok?"

"No."

"I don't know where it is. You know where it is?"

"Sure."

I give him the address. Serenbe is a gorgeous self-sustaining community about 30 miles south of Atlanta. A kibbutz for grown-ups.

"You find it."

He throws a third-world GPS unit into the back seat. He starts slowing down and pulling over to the right lane of the road as he stares at me suspiciously through the rear-view.

I fumble around and enter the address. Three rounds of American Airlines' vintage merlot is racing through my bloodstream. I'm tired and cranky. I'm confused. This usually doesn' t happen this way. I hand him back the machine.

We start south on I-85.

About ten minutes later, the GPS starts making noises. "Turn left on hwy 14. Baleebraham Achnanoo Ahaveh". A combination of english and what I assume is digitized arabic.

Perhaps it was information overload, perhaps it was just a rough night. Either way, he starts screaming... "Where I go? Where I go? Ahhh! Jungle! It is jungle!"

I can only assume that we have different definitions of 'jungle'.

"There are animals here! Look! I throw carrot! Deers come! Look!"

He's not throwing carrots, although I think that he thinks that he is.

"Read the Directions! Read Them! READ THEM!!!"

I cannot read squiggle. I let him know this. Either way, it doesn't matter. We're going in a perfectly straight line.

His increasing hysterics could not possibly be more juxtaposed with the calm serenity of the natural environment outside of the car.

We arrive. I tipped him well for the theatrics and made my way down the dark gravel road that is the front entrance of Serenbe.

Ultramodern in the middle of nowhere.

Exactly what I was looking for.